


It's a long, long way to Midgard

by Bablefishmouse



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Card Games, Crack, Gambling, Gen, Genderfluid Loki, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), casual feature of Valkyrie's alcoholism, discussion of ships but no confirmed cannon relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 03:14:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13989276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bablefishmouse/pseuds/Bablefishmouse
Summary: It's takes a while to get to Midgard. In the meantime, the Asgard - new and old alike - amuse themselves Featuring: drinking contests, betting rings, card games and a very foolish attempt at making a documentary. Just don't ask where they got the camera.





	It's a long, long way to Midgard

The camera turns on

“So, what do you think of the whole situation?” The camera zoomed in and focused on Thor. Then the camera person added, a beat too late: “Your majesty.”

Thor settled himself formally on the pilot’s seat he’d claimed as a throne. “I think,” he took a breath, “that while this will be a difficult time ahead, Asgard can and will persevere and we will get through this-“ he looked past the camera before looking straight at it and adding “together.” Then he relaxed and looked back over the camera’s shoulder. “How was that brother?”

The camera cut away.

******

It focused on Korg.

“What do you think-“

“We’re screwed.” The rock creature said frankly. “Completely and utterly bamboozled. Nothing for it. We are all going to die. Push up the daises, pine for the fjords-“

The camera cut him off.

*******

It might have been a private bar. It was currently half empty. The camera swung down from the bottles to reveal Valkyrie. Who had a nearly full bottle dangling from her fingertips as she leant against the rack.

“So, what do you think about the current situation?”

She started chugging the bottle. By the time the camera turned off with a whispered: “damm,” said bottle was nearly empty.

*******

There were a group of Asgardians in front of the camera.

“We have faith.”

“It’s just sometimes…”

*******

“It’s one thing too many,” one of the healers, far from her dotage but with silvery hair putting her well past her youth, said. “We lose Prince Thor, and then Prince Loki. But we get Prince Thor back. Then Loki’s alive but disgraced. Then we lose Queen Frigga and Prince Loki. It takes maybe three weeks for us to realise that Odin’s not himself. We hoped it was Loki, but there was nothing guaranteeing that it wasn’t anyone far more malevolent.” She took a breath. “And then we lost King Odin, and Hela was there, and then – “ she sighed. “The past few years have been a nightmare, but I guess we got through those. Hopefully the next few will be less like a fucking waterwheel.”

“Thank you Erika,”

******

The next piece of footage was simply of a blurry metal wall.

******

The camera turned on to reveal the Hulk.

“NO MONSTER TO SMASH.” He said then appears to sulk in the corner of the dining room.

The camera turns off.

******

It turns back on on Bruce, sitting on the edge of a bed.

“Give him a minute!” is yelled from off camera.

Bruce smiled slightly, clearly not feeling well. “Quite.”

The camera spun around and zoomed in on Loki who was wearing a very casual blue robe. “So, what do you think of the situation?”

They raised an eyebrow. “I’m still here aren’t I?”

“Up for debate,” Bruce said.

A wine cork bounced off Loki. The camera spun around to reveal Valkyrie leant against the wall. “Surprise. Hey little guy.”

“Hi,”

*******

The next time the camera was turned on, it could have been by accident. Thor, Loki, Bruce Banner, Korg, Valkyrie and Erika were sitting around a low table. Heimdall was also there, barely in shot, leaning against the wall.

“I’m sorry, what did you say this game was called?” Korg asked as Bruce shuffled clearly homemade cards.

“Exploding Kittens.”

Loki smiled. Korg looked appalled.

“I didn’t invent the game. It’s normally for five players but there is an expansion pack.”

Korg made a face. “I’ll leave you to it.” He swapped out places with Heimdall, who left.

Bruce sighed. “Or we could play snap.”

Korg brightened.

“Just, no magic.”

Loki scowled.

“Or any other kind of cheating.”

Erika frowned.

Thor sighed. “Now I know why I always lost.”

“Oh no, you really are that bad.” Erika took her hand of cards, passing Loki’s to them.

The highlights of the next ten minutes included: Loki matching five different cards at once; Thor creating a new swear word in response to said matching; and the line:

 “I swear upon every single deity I have ever heard of Erika if you put down an ace right now I will Hulk out. And at that point I will not be responsible for anything that happens.”

To which Loki replied. “Please do.”

********

The next shot was of the same room, which didn’t appear to have significant structural damage. Korg and Erika were standing a little too close to the camera.

“Care to repeat that for the camera?” The camera operator said.

“Right, so Korg here thinks that The Prince and The Valkyrie are a thing. I, on the other hand, think that The Valkyrie and Dr Banner are a thing. We’ve got 5 marks on it.” Erika paused. “You in?”

“Sure,” the camera operator said. “Put me down for Dr Banner and Prince Loki.”

“I thought they had — history,” She said hesitantly.

“There was certainly tension” Korg said. “It didn’t seem like a couply sort of tension though.  More like the ‘are you going to kill me’ sort of tension. Although-“

“It’s only 5 marks.” The camera operator cut him off.

Erika shrugged. “So let it be recorded.”

********

Heimdall was standing near the edge of the dining hall.

“You’re not allowed to bet, you have inside info.” The camera operator said.

“Can I?” Valkyrie strode into view. She pulled out a half dozen of something that definitely were not poker chips and handed them over. “Put me down for Bruce and Thor.”

“Alright,”

*******

“Me best alone.” Hulk insisted.

“Are we counting him as separate from the Doctor.”

“Yes.” The camera operator and Hulk insisted as one.

********

“Are we doing everyone on the ship?”

“Don’t see why not?”

“Korg and Miek.”                                      

********

“Loki and Valkyrie.”

*******

“Valkyrie and Thor.”   


********

“Valkyrie and Hulk.”

*********

“All four.”

“Together?”

The camera swung. “Aren’t they related?”

*******

“Is Hulk and Banner possible?”

“No.”

********

There was an extreme close up of Thor’s face. It pulled back slightly.

“Valkyrie and Loki.”

********

The camera shook as it came into focus on what was eventually revealed to be Valkyrie beating the crap out both Thor and Loki at the same time. Admittedly neither of the siblings were using magic.

Heimdall was acting as referee, leaning against a pillar and actually somehow keeping score.

Loki laughed as they were flipped onto the ground before Valkyrie stepped over them to rush at Thor.

Who promptly sidestepped her with a grin so large he should have been mugging for the camera.

Loki stuck their foot up and tripped both of them so that all three landed sprawled on the floor.

“Always the cheater.” She said, flipping upright and offering them a hand up. Before throwing them over her shoulder and into Thor.

“OH COME ON!”

It was notable that, however much enjoyment the three of them got out of amicably beating each other to a pulp, none of them seemed to be in a romantic relationship.

*********

The eyepatch was clearer than the rest of Thor’s face as he clearly held the camera at himself. He leant forward, which didn’t help the situation, and whispered: “I don’t understand.”

He turned the camera around.

Bruce and Loki were sitting in opposite armchairs heavily engrossed in books in sociable silence. Loki gasped. Then grinned. “This guy’s good.”

“I just wish he’d come out with the next one.” Bruce looked up from his much slimmer tome.

“So they’ll waste magic for Bruce.” Thor whispered sending feedback down the mic, “Just cause he’s – “

“MAJESTY!” Korg boomed off-screen.

The camera jerked downwards.

*********

Thor and Valkyrie faced each other across the bar. Every single bottle, other than the two in front of them, was empty.

“Alright,” Erika called. “First one to finish wins, and this time, no magic refilling of the other’s bottle. Everyone clear?”

Loki, in a casual blue dress, grinned leaning against the wall.

“In that case.” Erika lifted her hand. “Three, two, one- DOWN!”

They grabbed both their bottles at the same time and began to pour the liquid down their throats. There was gargling.

There was also Loki laughing as Valkyrie finished several moments before Thor. Who then got up and ran around the room preventing her from claiming the last of his drink.

Erika hid her smile with a sigh.

The camera zoomed in on her. “So, what do you think of the situation?”

She gave in and laughed. “I still haven’t got my marks.”

*********

Korg said: “I love this place. Although, I do wish someone other than Loki would take my leaflets.”

********

Some small children said in clearly practiced unity: “Can’t wait for Earth!”

*******

Thor: “I wish Loki would stop taking Korg’s leaflets.”

******

The camera focused on Loki with a huge pile of leaflets behind him. “I’m trying to transfigure them into the next book. Don’t tell Thor.”

******

Miek appeared, then talked excessively about the process of getting a new exoskeleton.

He was then interrupted by a loud yell in the background:

“LOKI!”

*******

Thor was slumped slightly on his ‘throne’. He noticed the camera and straightened his back.

“So,” The Camera Operator said. “What do you think of the situation, your majesty?”

“We’re nearly there, and the worst should be behind us. I can’t promise that the road ahead will be easy, but I am proud of you Asgard, new and old alike. I have no doubt that together we can, and will get through this.”

********

********

“I WIN!”

There were collective groans all around as the ship, the Asgard, continued on its journey in space, now with one fewer betting pool.

Still forty-one left unclaimed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading a very silly thing! Kudos and Comments happily accepted with virtual hugs/awkward thumbs up given in response!


End file.
